


Now Streaming: Love!

by AughtPunk



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: And the entire God Damn Internet, But I need to see these two smooch, Cause this train is going straight to shipping hell, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, GET READY FOR MORE STOPS ALONG OVERWATCH SHIPPING RAILS, GUESS WHAT MOFOS, I don't even play this game, M/M, McHanzo - Freeform, Oh God I have fallen for this ship so hard, So does D.Va, So everyone hop on, So hard, THIS TRAIN IS STILL GOING, and guess what, update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-24 12:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7508440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AughtPunk/pseuds/AughtPunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to D.Va's Twitch Stream! Normally she streams battles and really hard video games, but tonight she's streaming something very special indeed: Romance blooming between her teammates! Will McCree and Hanzo finally kiss? Who is Genji sneaking off with? And will Hana ever realize that Lucio is flirting with her???</p><p>Can love bloom on the battlefield? Will the internet explode when it does? </p><p>Either way Hana is there to capture every second of it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Live Stream #1 - McHanzo

Hana had everything setup for the big event. Hours ago she had parked her mecha behind an outcropping of rocks that just so happened to shield it from prying eyes. Another hour had been spent getting her canon’s scope to focus on a small beach that was almost completely hidden by the cliffside. On a floating screen to her right was what her followers were seeing on her Twitch Stream: Her in the lower corner, the main view of her gun scope taking up the main screen (currently a lovely sunset fading into a night sky) and the chat room which was beginning to pick up steam. With a familiar ever-so-gentle flutter in her stomach Hana faced the camera and smiled bright enough to light up the sky.

“Good Evening everyone! Welcome to a special emergency broadcast of the D.Va stream! Sorry for springing this on you guys without any warning but as I said this is an emergency! What could it be, you all wonder? Did some bad guys break into the base and I’m eager to show off my mad skills? Did I finally find a way to unlock the harem ending to _Doki Doki Robotto: My Boyfriend’s a Robot?!?!_? No everyone, I have something very special for all of you tonight!”

Hana pressed a button on her console, causing little pink and red hearts to float down over the Twitch Stream. The chat, as she expected, went wild. 

“That’s right! It’s time for D.Va’s Love Patrol!”

With a flick of her wrist the scope of her canon panned down to a lone figure standing on the hidden beach. She zoomed the camera in enough for her, and her audience, to get a clear view of Hanzo standing right on the edge where the waves met the shore. He was looking much his normal over dramatic self. Arm exposed, hair flowing in the wind, sometimes Hana wondered if part of Hanzo’s samurai training was getting the whole ‘silent and mysterious’ thing down or if it was natural.

“For those just joining the chat,” Hana said quietly, as if Hanzo could hear her at this distance “Six months ago I noticed a spark between two of my teammates, McCree and Hanzo. Little glances, lingering touches, and a sparing match that still remains my highest viewed video to date! Of course as all of my current fans know that there’s been no updates on the blooming romance between cowboy and samurai. Until a little bird told me about a secret meeting he overheard being planned. Said little bird also wants me to mention that you can find his latest album on bandcamp-dot-com-slash-Lucio.”

She glanced at the screen. Hanzo was still alone. Hana hadn’t been sure how Hanzo had gotten on the beach. One second he wasn’t there and the next he was. But she had a feeling it would be really obvious when Jesse showed up. “Since we have a minute I’ll do some donor shout outs! Thanks to Timeanddivision,  Francisxie, and Wyntera for their donations! As always all money raised to my stream will go to local charities and hold everything there’s the cowboy we’ve been waiting for!”

Hana zoomed the scope out just enough to catch McCree half-climbing half-falling down the side of the cliff face. She admired Hanzo’s ability to focus on the ocean and not stare up at what must sounded like a dusty tourist trap falling into the Grand Canyon. Also impressive was McCree’s ability to hit the beach, roll, and get up while looking as if he meant to do that the whole time. The view tightened on the two men as Hana leaned forward.

“This is it everyone. The moment we have all been waiting for. Will McCree blow it yet again? Will Hanzo storm off to sulk like a kid which he totally does he tries to deny it but he is totally sulking?”

Hana felt her body tense up as her fingers began clicking a mouse that wasn’t there. There were some things muscle memory never forgot. She watched silently until Hanzo finally turned to face McCree. Knowing him he was probably waiting for a dramatic breeze or something.

“They’re talking.” Hana said, wishing she had the time to get mics set up on the beach. “McCree is smiling, Hanzo is talking, McCree just did that ‘aww shucks’ move of his where he kicks his foot a little and ah! There! Hanzo uncrossed his chest! His posture is completely relaxed! I haven’t seen open body language on him since the highly debated ‘did they make out or not’ Christmas Party! McCree is stepping closer and oh my god HANZO IS SMILING!”

Hana pushed a button to make the scope zoom in further. The screen went blurry for a second before it focused to reveal that, yes, despite all rumors to the contrary Hanzo could in fact smile. No, he wasn’t just smiling at McCree. He was glowing. Hana glanced at the chat and caught a glimpse of a few hastily drawn fan arts popping up. Sometimes she wondered if she should tell Hanzo how many fans he had online. Did he even use the internet? Did he even know what it was? Better not even start. 

McCree, of course, knew exactly how many fans he had. His social media was an Old West Meme disaster but hey, he made it work.

“I have never seen them this close or this happy before.” Hana whispered, her stomach fluttering with every word. “Physical contact has been made! McCree has touched Hanzo’s arm! The one with the dragon tattoo! Oh my gosh oh my gosh Hanzo isn’t pulling away! McCree is moving his hand to Hanzo’s chin! He’s tilting Hanzo’s head up! He’s, he’s not doing anything?” 

Hana, the chat, and countless viewers held their breaths as the two men remained still, not connecting.

McCree’s lips moved, saying something only Hanzo could hear.

Hanzo stared.

He frowned.

He smiled. 

He laughed. Hanzo _laughed_.

And then he leaned up just enough kiss McCree. 

“THEY DID IT!” Hana screamed as the chat exploded with emojis. She slammed the ‘rain of hearts’ button as laughter and words poured out of her, mixed in her native tongue with whatever else popped into her mind. “MCCREE AND HANZO HAVE FINALLY KISSED! MY OH GOD MERCY OWES ME SO MUCH MONEY! ‘There’s no way they’ll ever actually admit their feelings’ she said! ‘Too much denial’ she said! WELL LOVE HAS WON AND OH MY GOSH PEOPLE I AM SO GLAD YOU COULD BE HERE TO WITNESS THIS WITH ME! THEY DID IT! THEY’RE KISSING THEY’RE KISSING THEY’RE not there?”   

She stared at the footage of the scope at an empty beach. With a frown on her lips she moved it around, searching the small stretch of land. 

“Um? Chat? Did anyone see what happened? I don’t see them anywhere on my....” Hana’s eyes finally landed on the Twitch Stream chat, which save for a few spams was repeating the same phrase over and over in multiple fonts, sizes, and colors. All in the silent scream which was upper case. 

**BEHIND YOU**

There was a sharp clanging noise at the back of her mech. No, more like a knocking. Very angry knocking. Followed up with some very angry muffled cursing. Hana turned to her viewing audience and put on the best award-winning smile she could. 

“Thank you for joining me on this very special stream of Love Patrol! I don’t know if there will be any more McCree and Hanzo videos, but please follow me on twitter, tumblr, instagram, facebook, pinterest, snapchat, and any other of my social media accounts for future updates! Now I really need to go before Hanzo does that freaky neon dragon thingokaybye!”

Hana turned the stream off, only for it to come back on a second later.

  
“Almost forgot! Rumor has it a certain chilly scientist was seen holding hands with a certain body builder! So see you next time on Love Patrol!”


	2. Live Stream #2 - Genji/???

The small sphere-shaped drone hung in the air right in front of Hana’s face, almost silent save for a faint buzz on the edge of her hearing. It was painting the exact colors of the sheer rock cliffs surrounding the base, save for the small lense in the front for the camera. She would have preferred the little baseball-sized drone to be hot pink or have at least one strip of blinking LEDs on it, but this was a stealth mission. She could pretty it up later. A glance at the tablet in her hands told her that the stream was up and running. Hana flicked her thumb across the tablet’s screen, causing the drone to back up enough to get a view of the beachside around her.

“Welcome everyone!” Hana smiled up at the drone. “To a very special stream of D.Va’s Love Patrol!” She tapped her finger on the corner of the tablet screen to unless a rain of hearts over the Twitch Stream Chat. “Featuring my new co-host-”

 With perfect timing Jesse McCree sat down on the sand next to Hana and pointed a finger gun right at the drone. “Howdy folks!” He said with grin. “Jesse McCree here, best shot on the Overwatch team. Correction, best shot with a gun.” He lowered his voice. “Never hear the end of it if Hanzo heard that. Does he watch this?”

 “Have you ever seen him use a computer?” Hana whispered back.

 “Good point.” Jesse raised his voice again, “I’m here this week to teach Hana here a thing or two about proper espionage in the field. So far we’ve covered ‘don’t spy on trained assassins’, followed up with ‘don’t spy on trained assassins in a bright pink mech’.”

Hana playfully rolled her eyes. “Yes, _Dad_.” She said mostly to see Jesse twitch. “Do you want to tell the folks at home the other reason we’re here?”

 “ _Little_ Hana-” Jesse stressed the first word in revenge, “and I are here to see who in the blazes Genji’s been sneakin’ off with between missions.”

 “Fans of my streams know that I have had suspicions about our own cyborg ninja, but nothing concrete.” Hana said.

 “No one did, until Hanzo slipped that Genji was seeing someone. Wouldn’t say who, which is why we got this little fella.” Jesse reached up and tapped the drone on the side. “We got word from a certain fellow Overwatch member-”

 “Bandcamp-dot-com-slash-Lucio-”

 “-that Genji’s heading to his favorite meditation spot to meet up with someone unknown. So we’re gonna send in our little spy while we sit here and act like we’re completely innocent. Which is the best way to do spy work.” Jesse hooked a small headset over his ear. “Ready, Hana?”

 “Ready!” Hana slipped on her headset on and picked up the tablet. With a few taps the little drone turned around and headed down the beach. She dragged her finger across the screen, bringing up the Twitch Stream Chat. “While we’re waiting for the drone to get in place, why don’t we answer some questions from the fans?”

“Wait, let me get comfy.” Jesse laid back on the sand and lowered his hat over his eyes. “Shoot.”

 “Cancerously asks, ‘Are Hanzo’s legs real or prosthetic?”

 “Ain’t answering that one. There’s gotta be some mystery left in this world.”

Hana nodded. “Kottkungen wants to know if Hanzo’s ever worn your hat?”

 There was a long pause from Jesse. “No,” he finally said, “But I’m making that my life goal.”

“From ‘Elektron124’, but I know I’ve been getting a ton of messages about this from everyone, what did you say to Hanzo on the beach?”

 Jesse’s smile was almost hidden by the brim of his hat. Almost. “Why, I looked into his eyes and asked him if he wanted to be my partner, partner.”

 “That worked?” Hana asked.

 “Yeah, I was shocked too.”

 Hana fought down a snicker. “Right. ‘he yooooo’ wants to know if you’re planning on replacing your BAMF belt buckle with one that says DILF-”

 A shrill beep sound echoed through Hana’s headset, signaling the drone’s arrival. There was a mad shuffle between her and McCree as she switched back to the drone camera feed. It had nestled against the cliff, getting a wonderfully framed shot of a large, flat rock surrounded by the rolling ocean. There were two figures sitting on said rock, an arm’s length apart from each one. One was clearly Zenyatta, that was easy enough to see. The other was-

 “Mercy?” Hana said, obviously surprised.

 “Huh.” Jesse scratched at his beard. “Angela did say she was gettin’ into meditation. Makes sense that she learns from the expert on base.”

 “Good for her, but that doesn’t explain-wait! Look!” Hana pointed at the screen. Genji had landed on the rock after no doubtedly doing some sick ninja moves to cross the water. They watched silently as Genji took a seat between Mercy and Zenyatta. Nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen. Hana was the one who broke first.

“They’re just meditating.” She sighed, “Sorry viewers, looks like today’s Love Patrol is a bust. Maybe we can hunt down Mei and see if we can catch her with what the hell are you snickering at, Pops?”

 Jesse did in fact have his patented grin on his face. “You got a lot to learn about love, kiddo. Look closer.”

 Hana gave Jesse a look before she did as instructed. Mercy, Genji, and Zenyatta were still sitting as before and, “Wait, wait. Whoa. Genji and Zenyatta are...holding hands?”

 “That’s right.” Jesse said with a nod.

 “And?”

 “And, little missy, sometimes holding hands is enough.”

 “Huh. Guess so.” Hana smiled. “Well viewers, looks like we did solve the mystery of who Genji’s been sneaking off with. Turns out it’s the person he hangs out with like all of the time. Still doesn’t explain why he’s being so sneaky about-”

 Hana went silent as Genji rested his head on Mercy’s shoulder.

 While still holding Zenyatta’s hand.

 “Oooooh.” Both Hana and Jesse said in unison. Hana looked at Jesse, shrugged, and pressed the corner of the tablet to cause the rain of hearts on the chat again.

 “I think that’s a good place to wrap today’s Love Patrol, everyone! With a reminder that love can be shared between human, omnic, and those who are a little of both. Sometimes all three at the same time! Still. Kind of an anti-climatic end to the chat.” Hana snapped her fingers and pointed at Jesse. “You want to help me with my charity stream? We’re reading erotica people have written about us. And the next one up is all about you and Hanzo!”

“Only if I get to read Hanzo’s parts.”

 “Deal.”


	3. Live Stream #3 - Reaper76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons ahoy!

Once again, Winston had an idea that was far better on paper than in real life. The base was always a mess, he had figured, so why not make simple cleaning robots to take care of things while everyone was either training or recovering? And, this is where things went a bit south, he should program them to be able to repair each other! That way no one had to worry about upkeep either!

A whole three days had passed before Watchpoint was knee-deep in self-replicating clean-bots.

“And that’s how you get the harem ending!”

Hana moved her fingers across the controls of her mecha, only half paying attention to the ‘battle’ around it. In her defence the only real danger had been getting a few nicks on her paint job. She was stuck on cleanup duty, which meant crushing the small scrubbing bots underfoot before they could start repairing each other. The faint popping noise they made was oddly relaxing. With one eye on her targets and the other on her twitch screen she continued. “Let me tell you, it felt so good to see all of them holding hands under the sakura tree after the credits.”

“Hana.” Came Morrison’s voice from over the group communication line. “Stay focused. We’re on a mission.”

“Uh huh, right Gramps.” Hana muttered. “So important. My God. The fate of the world totally depends on this.”

A tapping on the side of her MEKA caught Hana’s attention. She turned just enough to see Morrison standing next to her. Although she couldn’t actually see his expression or eyes under the mask, Hana sure could feel his glare. Hana replied the only way she knew: by playfully sticking her tongue out at him. He responded by rolling his shoulders before running off ahead and around a corner out of view.

“Hana?” Lucio’s voice interrupted. “You didn’t explain how you figured it out!”

Hana smiled, knowing full well that Lucio was somewhere on the battlefield smiling as well. “It was actually Genji who gave me the idea.”

“I did what now?” Genji said over a sound that could only be described as ‘Something or someone being cut in half’.

“That for some people holding the hand of the one you love is enough.” Hana cleared her throat of the odd soft note in her voice. “So you have to have to hold the hand of each of the potential boyfriends in a single play through, no kissing.”

“Hana, what your saying makes no sense.” Mei chimed in. “Are you seriously telling me you can’t kiss anyone during the Christmas Event?”

“You have to skip the Christmas event.” Hana said as she crushed a gaggle of cleaning robots under her mech’s foot.

“Can you even do that?” Lucio responded.

“You can on repeat playthroughs.” Mei said.

“Does anyone know what the hell those three are talking about?” Said Morrison.

“It’s a video game about kissing robots.” Replied Fareeha, which was also the first time she had spoken all ‘battle’. “It’s very stupid, horribly made, and I haven’t been able to get the theme song out of my head for weeks.”

“Wait, Hana,” Genji said a bit too loud. “I didn’t tell you anything about hand holding-”

“And now the song’s in my head.” Sighed Mei.

“Doki doki Itadakimasu-” Sang Lucio, filling Hana’s body with a burst of warmth and healing. And her teammates as well from the sounds of the terrible humming and singing over the channel. Hana jumped over a low fence in her mech, waiting for the chorus to join in.

“Robotto-san!” Hana sang with the heart of one who knows they can’t carry a tune, “Senpai-”

That’s when it hit her.

Not a bullet, not a shot, nothing physical that could be seen. If darkness was the absence of light then this was the absence of sound. An empty vibration that rippled through her body leaving nothing but a black whisp of smoke inside here where Lucio’s light once was. The group communication line was silent, and Hana knew in an instant they all felt it too. Yet it was Fareeha who put a name to it.

“Reaper.”

The line flooded with everyone speaking at once.

“-Everyone! Keep an eye out for black smoke-”

“-Does anyone see him? Repeat, does anyone have visual confirmation-”

“Lucio! Put on some happy music and everyone stay positive!”

“Sure thing, but you’re not going to like it-”

“I don’t care if it’s that Goddamn rainbow space cat thing play it!”

“ _Doki Doki Itadakimasu_ -”

“Hana! Do you see anything on your scanners?” Said Genji loud enough to be heard over Fareeha’s frustrated scream.

“Negative!” Hana’s fingers danced across her controls as she brought up screen after screen in the air around her. “No new heat sources within five hundred meters-”

“This is Reaper. He wouldn’t put off a heat source-”

“Where’s Jack?”

Mei’s question caused the rapid conversation to die once again.

“Jack.” Fareeha repeated. “Jack, report in.”

Nothing.

“I’m still picking up his vitals.” Lucio responded, his voice weak. “He’s alive and in the immediate area.”

“Jack!” Fareeha’s voice harden around the edges. “Jack! Morrison! God damn it JACK! REPORT! Change of plans everyone! New objective is to find Jack before Reaper does!”

“Assuming he hasn’t already-”

“Mei, shut up. Lucio, kill the music before I kill you. Everyone report in how you feel.”

The uneasy pause was broken by Genji. “Excuse me?”

“Tell. Me. How. You’re. Feeling.” Fareeha said in almost a growl. “Mei! Go!”

“Um. Fine? I guess?”

“Genji!”

“At peace. Why-”

“Lucio!”

“Wonderful, but what-”

“Hana! Report!”

Hana opened her mouth to say that she was fine. She was feeling fine. She was feeling-

“I feel the same as I did when I lost the world championship for my StarCraft team back when I was twelve years old. Everyone was counting on me and I failed. I failed and I failed them and I think I might toss up.” Is what Hana actually said.

“Right. He’s near Hana.” Said Fareeha. “Everyone head to Hana’s location. Hana, stay there and if you start feeling worse send up an emergency beacon. Okay Hana? Hana. Hana do you understand? Hana, answer-”

A sharp stab of static cut out the sound on Hana’s end, not that she was paying too much attention. Her eyes were on the path Morrison had run down just moments before. Wisps of black smoke were coming off the ground, almost invisible to the naked eye. She turned her MEKA to where Morrison had gone and ran. Her fingers switched over to Morrison’s personal communication line. More static.

“Jack!” She shouted over the din of noise. “Jack? Jack! Gramps! Gramps? ....Haraboji?”

More static. The chat screen was static. Her ears were flooded with static. There was more black smoke as her MEKA ran and ran through the static and smoke and it hurt it hurt-

_“IT HURTS!”_

_Hana screamed, barely aware of the clinic around her. She was no stranger to pain, or war, or being damaged. The shrapnel in her arm was nothing and she knew it. But that wasn’t what hurt. What hurt was what Mercy was doing to it._

_“I know, I know.” Mercy said in a voice that could have calmed anything. “Don’t worry, my healing methods only hurt the first few times. After your body will get used to it. See? Your injury is almost healed.”_

_Hana looked down and wished to whoever was out there listening that she didn’t. She could actually see her bones reforming, her muscles growing, the skin pulling in ways nature never intended and it hurt it HURT-_

Hana slammed straight into a sheet metal wall and stumbled back. Her MEKA spun before she found the path again. Still only one set of footprints where Jack had been. More smoke. She could smell it now, like gunpowder and stale basement air. With a flick of her wrists the rocket boosters on her back came to life, allowing her to nearly fly down the alley. She was flying she flew she was-

_Falling. Nari was falling._

_Hana watched Nari fall from the top of the jungle gym. It happened so fast, but in her memories she could see every second. Nari hands leaving the top bar, Nari falling, the sickening crunch of Nari’s leg hitting one the the bars near the bottom. Nari hitting the ground and her leg bent at an angle legs couldn’t. Legs shouldn’t. Nari had fallen Nari wasn’t moving and all the other kids were screaming._

_There were lights. Nari was taken to the hospital. Nari was okay. She spent the rest of the school year with crutches and she never spoke to Hana again. Everyone said Hana was so brave for not crying, she was so brave and such a big girl. Hana never said anything in return. Hana never told anyone that she was the one who pushed Nari._

The smoke was gone.

Hana stopped her MEKA the second she realized that the air was clear again. Her path was blocked by huge pipes crossing the path, keeping her from continuing. At least, she thought, this time she didn’t slam into it. She was prepared to climb the pipes when she saw a flash of red, blue and white between the gaps. Hana was about to shout to him when she realized there was someone else there with him.

Reaper. He was standing in front of Morrison, almost close enough to touch. But he wasn’t moving. He was just standing there. Hana was pretty sure that wasn’t normal.

Morrison wasn’t moving either. Just sort of looking at Reaper. His gun wasn’t even drawn. Just standing, not moving, not anything.

A cleaning robot buzzed by. Neither man noticed.

Hana realized the men weren’t just standing there. Their foreheads were touching. Reaper and Jack were pressed against each other at that single point of contact. Skin to skull, nothing else beyond that. The only movement was Jack’s chest rising and falling with a gentle breath.

She should send out the beacon. She should save Jack. She should do something.

Jack was the one who moved first. His hand flexed, it reached, it grasped for Reaper’s. But the second he touched the other man Reaper...vanished. That was the only way Hana could describe it. Reaper was there, and then there was only more of that smoke. A breeze went through and then even that was gone. Jack reached up and touched his ear.

“Soldier 76 reporting in.” Said Jack, the static vanishing as soon as his voice came through.

“Jack!” Fareeha shouted. “Jack! Status report! Are you okay?”

“Is Hana with you?” Asked Lucio, his voice strained.

“I’m here.” Hana said quietly, hoping that Jack didn’t notice the mostly hidden bright pink MEKA.

“Hana! Jack!” Mei shouted. “What happened? Are you okay? Is Reaper still there? What happened?”

“Reaper is gone. We should focus back on clean up.” Said Jack, his voice too calm. “Over and out.”

Hana watched as Jack turned away from her and walked off. The others were watching, but she couldn’t really hear them. There was an emptiness within her that swallowed the world, leaving her alone. She glanced down at the chat and stream, which had started up again. Her eyes moved back to the empty spot where Jack and Reaper had stood.

She hit the heart rain button for the chat. It seemed like the right thing to do.


	4. Live Stream #4 - WidowTracer

Hana couldn’t reach her bag of chips. This was it. This is how she died. Death by being a fingernail width out of reach of delicious nacho cheese flavored crunch. She stretched her arm out with all of her might, but it was futile. With a dramatic sigh she flopped her arm back down onto the couch and made peace with her immediate death by starvation. And here she thought she’d die after a seventy-two hour gaming marathon.

“Do you need some help there, love?” 

Out of the corner of her vision Hana saw Lena’s arm reach over, pick up the chip bag, and drop it mere inches from the couch. With what little strength remained in her starvation-racked body Hana grabbed a handful of chips and managed to get most of them into her mouth. 

“Mmnath myu.”

“You’re welcome?” Lena took a seat on the other end of the couch. Even with Hana laying down Lena had more than enough room, thanks to the ‘All shared furniture must be able to fit Reinhardt and Winston’ rule. Lena even kicked up her feet onto the much abused coffee table, almost knocking over one of the many half-finished energy drinks resting upon it. “Whatcha watching? Totoro? Love that cat bus.”

“Happy Miyazaki Marathon.” Hana managed to get out once she washed down her chips with a swing of bright blue soda.” 

Lena nodded approvingly. “Has anyone actually completed the Sad Miyazaki Marathon?”

“Genji said he did.”

“Pfft, bollocks.” Lena said with a laugh. “He cries at those sad-animal-shelter commercials! No way he could make it through Graveyard of the Fireflies.”

“You know, Lucio played the song from that sad animal commercial once over the loudspeakers and Genji totally burst into tears.” Hana paused. “So did Torbjorn. Did not see that one coming.” 

That got a laugh out of Lena. One that seemed to end far sooner than normal. Hana was about to choke down another handful of chips when Lena spoke, her voice unusually calm. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Hana paused, her hand arm-deep in the chip bag. “About what?”

“Mei said you had a run-in with Reaper yesterday. And that you got way closer than the recommended distance.” 

Hana pulled her hand out of the bag and left it limp by her side. “So?” 

“So.” Lena scooted closer, her body right next to Hana’s feet. “You’re not streaming, you’re not playing video games, and you didn’t even paint on your whiskers today. Not to mention I’m pretty sure you wore those exact same clothes yesterday.”

“They’re comfy.” Hana said, looking down at her shirt. Which was actually one of Lucio’s old shirts, but she had ‘borrowed’ it ages ago from the laundry room. “And I totally am streaming. Tokki’s down in the range.”

“Tokki?”

“My drone. See?”

With a little more effort than Hana would have preferred she lifted up the tablet that had, at some point, fallen onto the floor. On the screen was in fact the training range and a chat that was far more interested in spamming links than what was happening. And no wonder, all that was happening at the range was Jack, Ana and Jesse arguing about something Tokki’s mic couldn’t pick up. Behind them was a target peppered with holes of various shapes, sizes, and burns. Off in the distance was another target was slowly being filled with arrows from an unseen Hanzo.

“What are those three fighting about?” Lena said.

“They were having some sort of contest between the three of them and they’ve spent the last twenty minutes arguing the results.” 

“A contest.”

“Yup.” 

“Between an old fashioned gun, a plasma rifle, and a sniper rifle.”

“Uh huh.”

“Those three, I swear. Don’t get me wrong! Love them to death, but they’ve been like this since the day they met! Of course, it used to be way worse when Gabe-” Lena suddenly snapped her jaw shut, only for more words to weasel their way out. “And Gabe. Gabe was Gabe. Hana? Haaana? You in there, love?”

Hana was not listening. Her attention was fully on the stream, watching the three old friends bickering. Bickering, but smiling. Even Jack was smiling between harsh words. Jack was smiling. Jack touched Reaper. Jack was close enough to touch Reaper and he was smiling how could he be smiling didn’t he feel it, didn’t he feel the emptiness the pain the sound of Nari’s knee shattering against the metal bar how could he be smiling how could anyone be smiling how could that stupid giant magic flying cat bunny thing be smiling how they were touching they were so close he went for Reaper’s hand he wanted to be closer how how how-

“Hana! Hana. Shhh. It’s okay. Big Sis’ has you.”

The world snapped back around Hana the second Lena’s words reached her. Somehow she had gone from laying down on the couch to being held by Lena. The older woman was rubbing her back, speaking in a soothing voice that made the darkness in the edges of her vision vanish. Hana could feel Lena’s wet shirt pressed against her aching eyes, but couldn’t find it in her to move just yet.

“The fuck?” Hana did managed to get out. She could almost hear Mercy telling her to watch her language. 

“You slipped away for a bit there.” Lena said, her voice overflowing with care. “How are you feeling?”

“Everyone keeps asking me that.” Hana muttered into Lena’s shirt.

“Cause we’re all worried, love. You’re the sunshine of this team, and when you’re not glowing we can’t see a thing. So how are you feeling?”

Hana thought about lying. She didn’t. “Empty.”

“Did you talk to Angela about it?”

Hana nodded. “She said to have a warm bath, a cup of tea, and ‘find something that makes me smile’.”

“Uh huh. And did you do any of that?” Lena said, her voice betraying that she already knew the answer.

“...no…”

“Oh Hana,” Lena pulled away enough to smile down at Hana. “You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Look, I can get you a nice cuppa and you’ll be warm from your head to your toes in no time! Now how does that sound?”

Hana stared up at Lena. She couldn’t remember exactly when Lena declared that they were sisters. It had happened so naturally that sometimes even she forgot that they weren’t actually related. Lena was the big sister Hana always wanted: Cool, smart, had the ability to travel through time, and could be trusted. Her voice cracked as she spoke, still raw from the crying she hardly remembered.

“Jack’s in love with Reaper, isn’t he?” 

Lena pulled her hand off of Hana’s back. She let out a strange, sad chuckle. “What tipped you off?”

“Sometimes holding hands is enough.” Hana whispered. 

There was a loud ‘thwak’ noise from the tablet, which had ended up on the floor. The argument at the range had been ended by an arrow piercing the target that Jack, Jesse, and Ana had been fighting over. Jack was yelling off screen, most likely at Hanzo. Ana was laughing so hard she was clutching her sides. And Jesse, Jesse was almost glowing with love and pride. Hana picked up the tablet and turned the screen off. 

“Does it always end that way?” Hana asked, staring down at her blotchy face reflected on the screen. “Love?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s worse.”

Hana looked over at Lena. The other woman was staring at the television screen, but she clearly wasn’t seeing it. “Worse? Worse than that?”

“Not all love stories stay happy, Hana.Misunderstanding. Anger. Death. Love can transform to hate or even fade away. You can look into the eyes of a woman you loved with every inch of your heart and see nothing at all. Absolutely nothing at all.”

Lena turned back to Hana and, despite the sorrow in her own eyes, smiled. “But just because it may end that way doesn’t mean the whole story was a sad one. Hell! None of our stories are over yet! Not by a long shot! So don’t be despairing about the future already, alright sis?”

Hana felt her own smile finally return. “Yeah yeah, sis.”

“Now how about we get started on that feel-better list?” Lena stood up and kicked a few empty cans away. “A cuppa, a bath, and then something that’ll make you smile. I’ll go get the first one and see if I can convince Jesse to make us some late night pancakes for the third. Those always make me feel better. Unless you have a better idea?”

  
“Hmm.” Hana smiled down at the faded cartoony frog on the front of her shirt. “I might.”


	5. Live Stream #5 - DoritoFrog

Hana’s Three Step Plan To Feeling Better!

 Step One: Pancakes for dinner. Lena really tried to push the whole tea thing, but Hana couldn’t stand the stuff and Lena refused to act on Hana’s ‘boiling energy drinks I mean isn’t tea just water and caffeine hey give me those back I’m telling Grandpa’ idea. So they settled on finding McCree and asking if he could make them pancakes. They were ready to explain the whole plan, but McCree heard the word pancakes and before anyone could stop him there was enough to feed everyone three times over. Hana did admit she did feel better after a stack of syrup soaked goodness, even if Mercy wouldn’t stop scolding them about the importance of balanced diets.

 Step Two: A bath. It was by definition a bath. Hana was sitting in a bathtub and there was water. The fact that ninety percent of the tub was actually bubbles didn’t detract from the bath status. Nor did the overflow of bubbles into the bathroom proper. It was warm, relaxing, and for the first time in a few days Hana actually felt like her old self again. After that she changed into her second most comfy pajamas, which included yet another shirt of Lucio’s.

 Which lead her to the most important step. Step Three. Something that would make her smile.

“Hana? Issthatyou?”

 Lucio opened his bedroom door just enough to poke his head out. Which was perfect for the plan. Before the man could react Hana smacked him on the cheek with the pink mitten she had found at the bottom of her closet.

“Lucio! I, Hana Song, challenge you to a Dance Dance Revolution duel!” Hana straightened her back to do her best to tower over the man to show how serious she was. So serious she drew her battle whiskers back on before coming over.

 “Hana.” Lucio said, slowly, “It’s past two in the morning.”

“And?”

 “And, of course we can battle!” Lucio opened his bedroom door the rest of the way and beckoned Hana in. “I was kind of hoping you’d show up. I downloaded a whole bunch of new tracks and I’m itching them try them out with my dance buddy.”

 Hana stepped into the room after Lucio, her feet automatically dodging the various electronics strewn about the floor. Even though it had been awhile since she challenged Lucio to a late night game his room was still the same. Same piles of clothes, same giant stuffed frog on the bed, and he still had the framed Heroes of my Storm poster that Hana had signed for him. The value was slightly ruined by the fact that the rest of the Overwatch team had also signed it, but it still made Hana smile. Being in Lucio’s room made her smile. Being with Lucio made her smile.

 “Actually,” Hana said as she moved over to the dance pads, “I was kind of hoping we could dance to one of your tracks.”

 “You are the reigning champion!” Lucio said as he grabbed the controller off the floor. In the light of the television screen Hana finally realized why the too-tight pink shirt Lucio was wearing looked familiar. And explained why she could never find her own shirts. “Ready, Bunny Girl?”

 “You’re going down, Frog Boy!” Hana grinned as she took her spot on the dance pad. She turned her head enough to see that Lucio had taken his place on the pad next to her, his foot already tapping in time to the background music.

 The music started.

 Arrows flashed across the screen.

 Hana and Lucio danced.

 It was amazing how there were people who treated the Dance Dance games just like that, a game. Sure Hana could easily hit whatever arrow popped up, but where was the fun in that? The real trick was being able to dance along to the song and hit the arrow buttons in time. Hana let herself get lost in Lucio’s melody, letting her body move and twirl in time with the music. There was no emptiness within her anymore. Even as the last of the arrows scrolled across the screen the warmth in Hana didn’t fade.

“Tied!” Lucio laughed as he finally came to a stop, slightly out of breath but smiling. “Both perfect scores! And here I was afraid you would be rusty!”

“Fear my leet skillz, noob!” Hana said as she struck the most dramatic pose she could. Which only made Lucio laugh louder and longer. But even those trailed off into a small, sad smile on his lips.

 “I’m, I’m sorry, Hana.” Lucio said, mostly to the floor.

“For what? Not kicking my butt?”

“For not helping you cheer up.” Lucio risked looking back up at Hana. “I’ve been working on anti-Reaper music all day and I probably should have been helping you out instead of that and you’re smiling so I’m really hoping that means I didn’t screw up?”

 Hana lightly punched Lucio in the shoulder. “Idiot. You are helping me! Mercy said I should find something that makes me smile.”

 “And that’s me?”

She nodded, and Hana could have sworn there were stars in Lucio’s eyes.

 It was Lucio who broke eye contact first, grabbing the controller from off the floor. “Wanna try out one of the new songs?”

 “Hell yeah! Bring it!” Hana laughed, and God it felt great to laugh. But couldn’t lose focus on her real plan yet.

 People often forgot that Hana was, in fact, a really damn good strategists. From Zerg rushes to real life battles she knew exactly when and where to strike. One of the (many) reasons she loved Overwatch was the fact that everyone here took her seriously instead of the pats on the head she got back home. And this moment required just as much strategy and planning as anything on the battlefield. She waited patiently as the song started up and they began to move. No wild dancing for this song. This time there was far more focus on hitting the correct arrows than showing off. His focus was completely on the screen.

 Lucio didn’t notice that Hana had stepped off her dance pad until it was too late.

 “Hana? You’re missing arrows-”

 She moved fast. Quick reflexes sharpened from years of practice paid off. Her hand was on Lucio’s cheek. He turned only for her fingers to tilt his chin up. Hana leaned down. Lucio arched up. They connected.

 They kissed.

 They kissed, and in that very second Hana had the terrifying realization that she wasn’t a hundred percent sure if Lucio felt the same way.

 Lucio’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer. The answer she had been hoping for.

 Somewhere a thousand miles away Dance Dance Revolution informed them that they both failed the level. Neither of them noticed.


	6. Live Stream #6 - Zarymei

Hana flicked her fingers against the tablet’s screen, making sure everything was perfect before they began. Tokki, now bright pink, floated in the air with the camera trained on her and Lucio. That was going to be the second, smaller feed on her Twitch page as soon as it went live. Rã, Lucio’s bright green camera-drone, was the main feed. Lucio was controlling it on his own tablet, and was currently showing nothing but the leaves it was hiding behind.

“Ready?” Lucio asked as he leaned ever-so-slightly against Hana. They were sitting under a tree together, right on the edge of a forest about a twenty minute walk from the base. A warm breeze went by, and if circumstances were different it would have been perfect weather for a nap.

“Almost!” Hana turned just enough to give him a quick kiss. Her stomach fluttered, but not in the way it normally did before a broadcast. “Now I’m ready.”

“Start whenever you’re ready, beautiful.” Lucio gave Hana’s hand a squeeze, and for a brief moment she considered canceling the stream and-no. She had a job to do, adorable boyfriend be damned! Hana faced the drone head on and tapped the screen. Go time. 

“Welcome everyone to D.Va’s Emergency Love Patrol!” Hana quickly tapped the heart rain button before continuing. “Thank you all for coming on short notice! I know Lucio and I were originally going to do our big announcement but something way, way more important came up. Lucio?”

Lucio leaned over to face the drone. His hand was still holding Hana’s, and she didn’t mind at all. “Right as we were finishing our lunch-breakfast of leftover pancakes we saw Mei sneaking out the side door. And what was she holding?” 

“A picnic basket!” Hana grinned. “A very large one! Almost as if she was packing for her and someone who needs five times the amount of calories as your average human! Now I know that doesn’t really cut the suspect list down too much, but my gut is still telling me she’s got the hots for Zarya!”

“Either that or Winston.” 

“And now someone is drawing that. Great.” Hana sighed, but forced it down to smile to the camera again. “Lucio sent out his drone, Rã, to scan the forest for the potential lovebirds. And we think we just found the target!” 

“Or a bear!” Lucio pulled back. “Are there bears in Spain?” 

“Guess we’ll find out! Everyone get ready, ‘cause here we go!” 

Hana and Lucio turned their attention to their tablets as Rã moved through the foliage. The main feed went white for a second before settling into the ideal romantic picnic. It was all there: The checkered blanket. The picnic basket overflowing with food. Emptied glasses which once held wine. And there, napping at the base of the tree was Zarya, looking very much at peace. Nestled against her was Mei, nose-deep in a book. They were sitting together in silence, a rare moment of peace between battles.

Zarya stirred. Mei looked up, smiled, and leaned forward enough to kiss Zarya on the side of the mouth. That action must have been the correct one, because Zarya fell back asleep almost instantly. Her job done Mei returned to the world of her book. There was a love between them that was quiet, understanding, peaceful. Everything that Mei radiated and everything Zarya needed. Peace. Fragile, wonderful peace. 

“OH MY GOD WE FINALLY GOT IT ON CAMERA!” Hana threw up her fists and let out a triumph laugh that echoed through the forest around them. “Lucio Lucio Lucio oh my God did you see that I knew those two were together I KNEW IT!”

“Oh my God they are adorable!” Lucio grinned wide as he watched the two women snuggle. “Look at them! You can almost see the hearts!” 

“WE DID IT! I DID IT! YOU DID IT! WE DID IT!” Hana half-embraced half-lunged at Lucio, getting caught up in his arms once more. They sat together like that, laughing and hugging until their lips met once again. She let herself get lost in the moment, almost overwhelmed by the positive energy that Lucio radiated. Not the cool healing stuff, but the natural energy that was just him. Hana couldn’t get enough of him, his kisses, his warmth and his love rushing through her veins like a mighty stream and-

Wait. 

Stream.

_The Stream_. 

Hana broke the kiss and jerked her head back the exact same second Lucio did. Their gaze met, and as one they turned to the bright pink drone that was still recording. A glance down at the tablet showed a chat moving too fast to read and a screen covered with private message notices. She could also hear a faint buzzing noise from her bunny-shaped purse, which Hana assumed was both of their phones going haywire. Hana reached up to wipe a smudge of her whisker makeup on Lucio’s face. 

“Um.” Tried Lucio. That seemed as far as he could go speech-wise.

“Well. I think that takes care of the big announcement. So you can all expect more team-ups between Lucio and I on future projects! And, you know, other stuff.” Hana felt Lucio’s arms move around her as she talked, followed by him resting his head on her shoulder. His warm breath on her neck was distracting, but she continued talking to the drone. “Also I think that we’re caught up on Love Patrol here? I don’t think I’m missing anyone? Junkrat and Roadhog?” 

“Please don’t stream Junkrat and Roadhog.” Lucio muttered into Hana’s neck.

“We will not be streaming Junkrat and Roadhog!” Hana leaned back against Lucio’s chest. “But I will keep all of you lovely fans out there up-to-date on the latest gossip and smooching happening here at Overwatch! And don’t forget, next weekend is our monthly Charity Stream! Highest donations get to choose which steamy erotica about my teammates we’ll be reading!”

“With live score done by me,” Lucio said up to the done. “So I better see all of you tadpoles there too!”

“Now if you would excuse us, I think me and Lucio have some celebrating to do.” Hana reached over to tap the heart rain button on her tablet. “Until next ti-AH!”

With a hard tug Lucio pulled Hana back down, her foot kicking the flying drone far away enough to give them some privacy. After all, there were some things she would never stream to her fans.

*** 

Zarya, still heavy with sleep, cracked open her eyes. There was a...noise. Something loud. Something distant but too close for comfort. She could feel Mei pressed beside her, her lovely little scientist no doubtedly still reading that terrible old book.

“Mei?” Zarya yawned. “What is that noise?”

“I don’t know, let me check.” Mei tapped the side of her glasses, causing a series of images to flash across them. She sat there, until a warm giggle broke the silence.

“Ohh,” Mei cooed, “It looks like Lucio and Hana are finally together! Isn’t that sweet?”

Zarya let out one hearty chuckle before she closed her eyes once more. “About time.”


	7. OVERWATCH CHARITY STREAM!

“Welcome back to the Overwatch Charity Stream! We are back from our much needed break! Bladders have been emptied, snacks have been refilled, and to quote big sis Lena we are all bev’d up!” Hana held up her energy drink to the camera before taking a large swig. “So let’s get this show back on the road!”

 “You know you can have a beer with us, right?” McCree said. He had spread across most of the loveseat, his legs propped up on the coffee table. Despite Hana’s request to ‘dress casual’ he was still wearing his hat and serape. He claimed their fans wouldn’t recognize him without it. “Ain’t no drinking age here.”

 “And why would I ever, ever want to drink something that would slow me down?” Hana downed the last of her soda and tossed the empty can among its fallen brethren. With the help of her far stronger teammates Hana had dragged all of the various couches and armchairs in the main break room around the well stained coffee table. She even made sure to drag over the well stocked mini-fridge for drinks and snacks at the ready. A stream was a stream, no matter what the subject. And Hana was the _Queen_ of streaming.

 “I see there’s a lot of newcomers in the chat! Word must have gotten out that we are at,” Hana dramatically paused, “The Good Part.”

 Right on que Lucio played a few equally dramatic notes on his portable keyboard. She didn’t even ask him to do that! The man had timing!

 “But before we get to that let me introduce the players.” Hana leaned forward and tapped the top of her Tokki, causing the little drone to open up for its 360 cameras. Only the best. “To my left we have one Jesse McCree-”

 “Howdy y’all.” Jesse did his traditional fingerguns at the drone.

“-Who will be playing the role Prince Hanzo. Next to him is Lena-”

 “Ello loves!” Lena said with a cheery wave.

 “She will be playing Prince Jesse. To cover all the other totally less important characters that pop up we have fan favorite cyber-ninja-dude Genji!”

 “Greetings!” Genji said while striking the most dramatic pose he could. Tricky since there wasn’t much room to move on the couch.

 “And to help him with all of the various parts is the poll-winner Zarya, who I’m pretty sure won because 16chan wanted to see if she would start a fight with Genji.”

 “I have promised Mei that I will be on my best behavior for the sake of the charity.” Zarya said, her voice as strong as always. “But do not misunderstand me, if I suspect this cyborg of anything I would be more than happy to crush his head in like an overripe melon.”

 “Sadly,” Hana said right over Genji’s whimper, “Angela will not be joining us as the narrator again. During our break she was called in for an emergency operation because, and I quote Athena, ‘Junkrat Exploded’. Instead the narration will be read by my dear Grandpa Jack!”

 Jack Morrison was almost unrecognizable in his civilian clothing and reading glasses. But there was no mistaking that constant annoyed glare. “I want to state, for the record, that I am being blackmailed and doing this under duress.”

 “It’s not blackmail!” Hana replied. “I just gave you the option of either being our narrator, or having your late night golf practice streamed.”

 Lucio coughed up the mouthful of soda he was in the middle of drinking. “You play golf?! Really Jack? Really? Dear _God_ you’re white!”

 “Hey,” McCree said, “I will have you know that Jack is really damn good at golf. He and Reyes used to sneak up onto the roof at the old base to practice.”

 “I remember that!” Genji said, fondly. “Everyone just assumed they were having sex.”

 “I’m right here.” Said Jack.

 “Turns out the truth was far more embarrassin’.” Jesse said with a solemn nod.

 “Oh man,” Lucio wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Does he have like old people golf clothes?”

 Lena gasped. “You haven’t seen Jack’s golf pants! We are so going to his room after this!”

 “ _I’m right here!_ ”

 “Hey! Everybody chill!” Hana raised a hand. “We can talk about Grandpa Jack’s terrible taste in men and clothing later. But first we have a story to tell. Everyone ready? Good. Let’s begin.”

 Hana took a deep breath, waiting for Lucio’s music to kick in before she started speaking. “For those just joining us, we are reading ‘When a Wolf Lays with a Dragon’, by lepetitselkie. Who I really feel like I should point out is also the highest donator and therefore actually chose us to read her own story. lepetitselkie: We thank you for your donation and also kinda hate you for making us read this. Ahem.

 We begin with two warring kingdoms who, after thousands of years of war, have declared peace and joined as one. As a symbol of the now united kingdoms it was declared that the princes of each kingdom would marry, not knowing that the two princes-jessestopwhistlingthatdamnsong-have already met on the battlefield. We now pick up where we left off, right after a tense wedding ceremony filled with heated looks and lingering touches. But before the newlyweds could even kiss they were grabbed by two guards and tossed into a tower! And...begin! Begin. Genji! You’re first!”

 “Oh? Oh!” Genji picked up his tablet and scrolled up. “And stay in there!”

 “You are not to leave until the ritual is complete!” Zarya said as she puffed out her chest. “The guard slams the door shut, locking it!”

 “Jack reads those parts.” Hana whispered. “It’s okay, keep going!”

“McCree! What is the meaning of this!?” Jesse said in a spot-on impersonation of Hanzo. “Why are we being held captive in our own castle?”

 “Well bust my buttons and call me Matilda!” Said Lena in what had to be the worst cowboy accent ever spoken on the planet Earth, if not the solar system itself. “That old crone was right!”

 “Old crone? You don’t mean,” McCree gasped. “The Witch Ana Amari!”

 “That’s right my sugarplum dumplin’!” Lena clasped a hand over her heart. “She came to me before the wedding, but I thought that old wrinkle of a woman was just trying to get my spurs all tripped up!”

 “Ana is not going to like this.” Jack muttered, only to be hushed by Zarya.

 “What did she say?” McCree’s expression was deadly serious.

 “Oh hun, oh darlin’, oh junebug, oh turnip muffin, oh bluebells, oh sweet molasses pie-”

 “Lena!” Hana hissed, “Stop ad libbing cowboy words!”

 “I can’t help it!” Lena hissed back, “It’s really addicting! I totally see why Jesse does it all of the time!”

 “Hey-” Jesse caught himself and switched back to his Hanzo voice, “Please, McCree. Did we not promise to live our lives together? Tell me what is happening. No matter what I swear I will stand by your side.”

 “Accordin’ to the old ways all newlyweds are to be locked up until the marriage is consummated proper-like! No one’s been forced to do it this way for ages, but Amari said it was going to happen! I don’t see anyway out of this my candied beet! Oh eat my hat with a crock full of butter and damn the name of Mrs. Buttersworth!”

 “Lena!” Hana hissed again.

 “Actually, that one is in the story.” Genji whispered back.

 ”McCree.” Jesse took Lena’s hand. “Listen to me. I regret not saying this sooner, but now I must. Although the words were written by another hand I meant every word I said during the ceremony. I swear my life to you, McCree, as well as my heart and soul. If we must consummate our wedding now then so be it. Even if you do not feel the same way.”

 “Oh Darlin’! Who said I didn’t?!” Lena kicked her legs, knocking over a few empty beer bottles in her rampage. “I love you with every tiny little cowboy cell in my body, Hanzo! I’m just mad they dragged us off before I got to kiss you proper-like!”

 “Then we must not waste another second, my Prince.” Jesse purred as he let go of Lena’s hand. The second the contact was lost both Jesse and Lena began making what Hana could only guess were supposed to be kissing sound effects. There was a lot of ‘mwuah mwuahs’ and wet mouth noises.

Lucio’s fingers moved across his keyboard, causing a swell of romantic music to play. Hana snuggled up against his side and wished the others weren’t there so they could have their own totally-hot make out session. Wait! They could do that after the stream! With this same music playing! Hana wished she thought of this whole dating-Lucio thing ages ago! She made a mental note of her awesome plan for later and pointed at Jack.

 “Must I?” Jack said with a sigh.

 “It is for the children!” Zarya said, punctuating her words by slamming her fist against the coffee table.

 “Fine. McCree and Hanzo kissed softly, their hearts pounding too fast to consider anything else. But in an instant their nerves vanished and was replaced by a heat neither could understand. Lips parted as their tongues seeked each other out in a battle that- _seriously?_ -rivaled the war that had wrecked their homelands for generations. Hanzo pushed McCree against the wall to better let his hands explore the other Prince’s body. His hand lingered over the bulge in McCree’s pants, eager to feel the growing knot at the base of his-”

 “Whoa whoa whoa!” Jesse held up a hand. “Time out! What the hell is going on with my penis?”

 “Technically it’s my penis.” Lena replied.

 “Still! Why is it tied up in a knot? Did I miss somethin’? Is this one of those weird internet things?”

 “Yes and no?” Said Genji. “It has a knot at the base? Because you’re, well, Lena’s a werewolf?”

 “I’m a what now?”

 “Jesse!” Hana gave Jesse a look. “That’s part of the background! McCree’s from a kingdom of werewolves and Hanzo’s from a kingdom of weredragons! It’s right there in the tags! Haven’t you been paying attention?”

 “Not really?” Jesse shrugged. “I’m just here for the raunchy bits. Which according to these tags will be pretty damn interestin’ despite me and Hanzo being two blushing virgins. I don’t think I know what half of these things are. Genji?”

 “Think this is the internet goblin’s domain.” Genji said as he nodded towards Hana. Hana stuck out her tongue in return.

 “What is an eggfic?” Zarya muttered. “Is one of you going to lay eggs?”

 “You hear that, darlin’?” Lena said as she jumped back into her ear-shattering McCree voice. “You and me are gonna have some bouncing baby wolfdragons! Dragonpups! Puppy dragons! We’ll be happier than a hen house on Lentil Friday!”

 “My dear Jesse.” There was McCree’s impressive Hanzo voice again. “There shall be no greater honor than for me to carry our love child. Or perhaps love children. I’m not too sure how this works, but I know our love with carry us through no matter what!”

 “Oh I love you so much, my sweetums!”

 “And I love you, my cowboy!”

Jesse and Lena, who were still being scored by Lucio, were rudely ripped out of their impromptu confession by the sound of someone clearing their throat. In the doorway to the break room stood Hanzo, his expression as serious and judging as always. He glanced down at Jesse before turning his attention to the rest of the room.

 “You. Are all. Insane.” Hanzo said before continuing down the hallway out of sight.

 McCree was the one to break the silence first with a belly laugh that rivaled Reinhardt’s. The others joined in with a wave of giggles that couldn’t be stopped. Even Jack was laughing in his own quiet way. Hana pressed her face into Lucio’s shoulder in an attempt to stop them, but it was no use.

 Jesse leaned back in the loveseat far enough to shout down the hallway after Hanzo. “And I love you too, Hanzo darlin’!” With that he clapped his hands and turned back to the drone. “Now! Where did we...leave...off?” His voice trailed off when his eyes met Lena’s, whose laughter had died.

 “Jesse.” Lena took a deep breath. “I really want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I really do. But I’ve known you a long time so I have to ask: Was that the first time you told Hanzo you loved him?”

 “I-” Jesse blinked. “I didn’t, I didn’t say-” He looked around the group only to be met with silence and nods. “Did I-?”

 Hana glanced down at her own tablet. “Chat says you did.”

 One moment Jesse was sitting there, and the next the loveseat was toppled over and Jesse was struggling to his feet. He only paused long enough to grab his hat before running out of the room and down the hallway with the cry of “Hanzo! Sweetheart! Wait!” echoing behind him.

 This time it was Hana who laughed first before the others joined in. With tears stinging her eyes she picked up her tablet and pressed the heart rain button on the chat. “Did everyone enjoy the bonus show?  I see some of you are saying I should go after them for the Love Patrol but, well, I think the Dads need some alone time on this. Gotta let love bloom naturally, you know? That and Hanzo might actually kill me. No offense, Genji. How about we take another break while I go see if I can find someone to fill in for Hanzo. Maybe Zenyatta? No, Reinhardt! Yes! I’ll be back in a bit everyone!”

 Hana turned the stream off, only to click it back on a second later.

“But I am going to bring Tokki along just in case I run into a certain cowboy and samurai. So maybe see y’all next time on Love Patrol!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's our show! Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos! 
> 
> Stay tuned for some silly drabbles, and a story about about beginnings, endings, and dragons.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my [Tumblr](http://aughtpunk.tumblr.com) for more Overwatch shipping! And don't be afraid to drop a line! I'm lonely! 
> 
> Want to know what happened to Cyber Vale? [Click here!](http://arachnescurse.tumblr.com/post/148519005156/hey-wheres-welcome-to-cyber-vale)
> 
> And check out [My Blog](https://aughtpunk.wordpress.com/) for updates and original fiction!


End file.
